Tag Archives: octopus

i thought this “octopus can fit through very tight spaces” video might have more of an ‘anal octopus’ component than it did

Best part of this video is hands down at :38, when the guy makes the wedding dress joke. You know he’s not getting it in with his wife for a while. I mean she all like “Heyyyyy” in a kinda mad but jovial voice, but inside she’s all like “Shut the fuck up man” and she’s planning how long she is going sexile him.

As for the actually octopus, not much to say. As an octopus myself, i’ve seen it done many times. Whatever. What I’m wondering about is why they just let it go. So they brought octopus on board the ship, everyone was like “oooooo” (because we are badass), and then it just starts slipping away and then… bye i guess.

analoctopus in the news

this is analoctopus? i don't see any octopus at all!

this is analoctopus? i don’t see any octopus at all!


So part of what i’m going to do here is cover news in a hopefully entertaining way. So I thought i’d google news “anal octopus” to see what was happening in the world of eight legged sea animals taking it in the bee you double tee. (side note: i put it into google and accidentally clicked ‘videos’ instead of ‘news’… the thumbnails alone will keep me up at night). 

Did you know that a female octopus can lay up to 100 thousand eggs at once? If you did, you’re either way too knowledgable to be reading this blog or you’re an octopus scientist. This random octopus fact of the day is brought to you by Coke, open happiness. What’s that?? Yup, we got a sponsor on our first blog post. And it’s a big one. Coke. Tried to get Taylor Swift or Apple but they both turned us down. 

Anyways, there was only one result for “anal octopus” on google news and this is what came up. I don’t have the interest or attention span to read about theater in LA, but I assume they have an analoctopus show on right now, so if youre in the area and into that kind of stuff go check it out! Also, if you’re into that stuff, stay away from people age 0-17… and maybe check yourself in somewhere.. for humanity’s sake.

PS. I don’t have anything else to say, but I thought my first real blog should have a PS in it because barstool is the best blog ever and they do PS’s all day err day.

test post please ignore

Shamelessly taking the title of the highest upvoted Reddit post ever for my first blog post. 

My name is analoctopus, but you can just call me octopus. (If you ever get on a first-name basis with me, anal is also fine). I’m starting a blog because why the fuck not. I’m a Stoolie first, a Redditor second, blah blah blah blah blah, and probably a blogger last. That’s just for now, we’ll see how this thing goes.